Friday, October 17, 2014

Caleb Benson

Caleb Benson Chapman was born Friday, August 1, 2014 at 9:42 pm at Fort Madison Community Hospital. This is his birth story. 

I was due August 15, and my earliest baby was only 3 days early so I felt confident booking a 2 night vacation in Nauvoo 2 weeks before my due date. There was a new British pageant showing that may not run again so I really wanted to go. I checked with my doctor that Monday to ask his opinion of me being that far from home at 38 weeks. I was dilated almost 3 1/2cm, but that was pretty normal for me. He and I agreed that it was unlikely that I'd go into labor that early, but if I did there was a hospital in Fort Madison that I could go to. I typically start having contractions around the 6 month mark and this pregnancy was no exception. However, this pregnancy had brought on a greater sense of fear and anxiety that I hadn't experienced with my other babies. Maybe after 4 deliveries with no epidural gave me a clear understanding of what was coming. I'd spent several nights up for 2 or more hours at a time with contractions that were irregular, but strong enough to keep me awake. On top of that was the clammy hands and increased heart rate that accompanied many of my contractions. For the first time, I started thinking about having an epidural. But I did some research and decided against it, feeling it wasn't really what I wanted and knowing I had delivered 4 babies without one already; I could certainly do it one more time. I also really wanted to into labor on my own. My due date fell right in the middle of my doctor's 10 day vacation, and was 3 days before the first day of school. These 2 factors finally convinced me plan to schedule an induction about a week before my due date.

We headed down to Nauvoo Thursday morning and stopped twice along the way so I could get out and walk around per doctor's orders. It made the drive down our longest ever, but it seemed to help the kids do better knowing we only.had to drive for about an hour before we stopped. I felt fine, just the normal, random contractions I always have. We played outside and visited some sites once in Nauvoo then went to dinner and saw a show. Friday morning Jake and I went to the temple with Josh and Shalie. (Jake was worried I'd go into labor while were there; thankfully I made it through!) I was fairly uncomfortable and was having contractions, but not anything too different than usual. We saw a few more sites and had lunch. Jake went back to the condo with Adam and Jared for naps while in went to the Joseph Smith home and other sites owned by the Community of Christ. I was feeling pretty tired and crampy through the whole tour, but figured I was hot, tired, and maybe a bit dehydrated so my symptoms weren't concerning. I even had Kathy feel my belly during one of my contractions in the foyer of the mansion house. She was really surprised (and maybe a bit concerned!), but I told her that was totally normal for me. After the tour, I was supposed to go to a show in the visitor's  center. But i called Jake and told him I needed to relax a little. So we met at the condo and he took Isaac and Leah to the show with everyone else. I think the show started at 4:00, and then everyone was coming back to the condos for dinner before the pageant. I was hoping Jared would still be asleep so I could relax a little with Adam, but he was awake as soon as I walked in the door. There was another condo below us so I was trying to keep the boys quiet, but that's near impossible for an 18 month old and a 3 year old. So I tried keeping them on the bed with some books and the tv on, but that only lasted about 15 minutes. I was still having irregular contractions so it was getting more difficult to try to keep them occupied in the condo. I decided we'd go outside where there was a big grassy area to play. They loved it, but with no fence, Jared was a little difficult to keep close by while I was having contractions. We only stayed out there for about 5 minutes before I was too tired and uncomfortable. Shortly after we came back in, I heard a knock on the door. I had no idea who it would be. It was a girl from the condo office. The people below us had made a complaint that we were being too loud. I was shocked. It was 4:45 in the afternoon and they weren't doing anything loud or crazy. I just told her I'd keep them quieter, but I was pretty irritated. I wish I would have told her I was in labor and trying to take care of these two little munchkins, but I didn't. 

The boys just played and I contracted for the next little while. Finally around 5:30 I started timing my contractions with an app on my phone. I hadn't texted Jake yet because I didn't want to make him leave early unnecessarily. I think it was around 6 when Jake came back. I told him how I was feeling and showed him my timer. He was concerned, but I still wasn't sure. My contractions were anywhere between 45 seconds and 9 minutes apart, lasting 45-75 seconds. It just wasn't my typical labor, and I figured #5 would be pretty similar to the first 4. He took the kids all over to the other 2 condos where his parents and Josh and Shalie were staying so they could eat. I didn't feel like eating and told him I'd just lay down for a while to see if the contractions stopped. He came back less than 10 minutes later to check on me. I wasn't feeling any different, but didn't want to go to the hospital yet. He went into the bathroom and I had a much stronger contraction. When he came out, I told him it was time to go. He ran (literally) over to the other condos to tell everyone. I got into the car, then had to move over to his parents' car so they'd have our kids' carseats. That was a pain to have to move while in labor! 

Jake sped over to the hospital because my last 3 labors all were about 2 hours total and I had already been timing my contractions for an hour! I don't remember much of the drive over other than thinking that I'd only had 2 contractions in the car so far and we were almost there so maybe I really wasn't in labor. I also remember feeling a bit panicked and telling Jake I thought I wanted to get an epidural, and he just told me it was fine if I wanted to. He also asked me if I felt like I was in labor and I remember it being in the middle of a contraction and just shaking my head yes. We got to the ER and he got a wheelchair for me. A nurse came out with him and he told me he was going to park the car, which I wasn't happy about. I like him as physically close to me as possible while I'm in labor. I sat there for a minute waiting for Jake and when he came in the girl at the desk was asking for my insurance information, etc. to get me admitted. The nurse with me told me they were cleaning a room in the maternity ward and then we could go up. Fantastic-labor in a wheelchair in the ER hallway. I asked to go to the bathroom, and they hesitantly let me. When I came out, my room was ready and we headed down the hall. I was already asking for drugs at this point. We got into the room and they had me change into a gown. Jake was gone again for something, but I don't remember what. A nurse came in and was super nice, which helped me calm down a bit. She checked me (and it was the first and only time I'd been checked and had it hurt) and said, "yeah, you're between a 6 and 7 so you're not going anywhere." Then I cried and had a little breakdown. I couldn't believe this was happening here and now; all our family who was now having to help; all those things I was going to get done when we got back home before the baby was born! But that lasted about 2 minutes and I just accepted it for what it was.

The time on my check-in says 7:15 and I was having pretty regular contractions and they were getting stronger. I asked for some fetanol, at the least, and the nurse said she thought I was too far along for that, but that she'd check with the doctor.The doctor said no fetanol (baby would be too drowsy once he was born) and then told me she could break my water and things would go pretty quickly or I could just wait if I wanted the epidural. I opted to wait for the epidural, though I was still terrified of actually getting it since I had never had one before. I don't remember how frequently I was having contractions at this point, but they were strong and often; I was humming/moaning through them like I had always done. I've always wanted to be on my side while at this stage of labor and have Jake rub my back. This time, I was on my back and comfortable as long as Jake was touching my face, running his hands through my hair, or whatever else he was doing (that pain blurs the memories!). They also started an IV, which is what stands out in my mind as the most painful experience of the whole night. The first attempt failed, so they tried again (during a contraction!) and I remember screaming at them that it hurt and something about it not being in the right vein. Ouch! I still kind of cringe thinking about those few minutes. They finally got it in on the third attempt. At some point I was checked again and I was still not quite an 8. With my other 4, once I was to a 6 it only took less than 30 minutes to get to a 10 so I knew this would be longer than I was expecting. The anestesiologist came in around 8:20 for my epidural. I was really scared I was going to have a contraction while he was putting it in and that I'd have complications because of it. Thankfully, my nurses were wonderful and helped me know exactly what to do and when. I had a contraction at 8:28 and remember thinking it was the last one I would be able to feel. And it was. The pain was gone within a couple minutes, which was great, but I hated not having control of my entire body anymore. The nurse and the anesthesiologist were both not sure how to work the pump ("Great, now I'm going to die," I thought!), but it worked fine and I only remember pushing the little button a couple times, but just out of fear that it would wear off.

We just hung out for about an hour, did my intake paperwork (so glad I pre-registered at the hospital in Des Moines!). I called my mom and talked to her for a few minutes, told her I chickened out and got an epidural (she was supportive, but kind of surprised -and I think a bit disappointed-but was glad I was ok). She and my dad would come down in the morning with the carseat for the baby and my hospital bag. All of her grandbabies have been born in Des Moines so it was hard for her and my dad to now be so far away! While I was on the phone with her my water broke and I remember whispering that to Jake. They came and checked me and I was fully dilated; so they said to just let them know when I felt like I needed to push. This was totally foreign to me. When it was time to push with my first 4, there was no denying it was time! I had no idea what I was supposed to feel (or not feel?!) that would tell me it was time to push. I started feeling pressure in my butt cheeks (I know, right?) and wondered what that was all about. I told the nurse and she said that meant it was time to push. She said to let her know when I was ready to push. Again, this was so strange to me because I have several memories of pushing and being told to slow down, not push so hard, don't push yet, stop pushing! I told her I was ready and she had me do a "practice" push to see how I would do. She told me to stop just a couple seconds in and went to get the doctor. This was around 9:30. The doctors came in (there were 2 there that night so they just both came in, how nice!) and the nurses got everything set up for delivery. I remember only pushing about 3 times and then asking if he was out. He was! At 9:42pm, Caleb Benson Chapman was born. He was 6 pounds, 13.9 ounces, and 20 1/4 inches long. He was perfect! 

My recovery was nothing out of the ordinary, except that I couldn't get up and walk around right away because of the epidural. Lame. It took about 2 hours to "get my legs back" and then I felt back to normal.

For the first couple weeks after he was born, I felt really bad about getting an epidural; almost guilty. What if there's something wrong with Caleb now because of it? What if there's some complication that's going to show up later on because of it? Why didn't I just manage my pain without it? I'd done it 4 times before. What a wuss! I don't know why I thought about it so often during my pregnancy. I honestly had never even considered it before with any of my other babies. I have come to feel at peace with my choice, but I do still regret doing it. But I have to believe that, for whatever reason, it was the right thing to do that time. I know I was not totally mentally prepared for that labor, and the room was small and I felt a bit claustrophobic when we got there. Maybe that's why I got an epidural. I just know that it's all over; Caleb is perfectly healthy and I didn't have any complications. It is what it is; the world is no different because of my choice! And Jake gives a pretty entertaining impression of me before vs. after my epidural. :)

Caleb did great at the hospital. He did great nursing and was pretty content for the most part. Jake went back to the condo Friday night and stayed with the kids then came back first thing in the morning. Jake's parents brought our other kids up Saturday morning and then headed home. My parents came Saturday and hung out with us and stayed the night at a hotel in Burlington. Jake also got a room at the hotel (no sense in us both being sleep deprived!). My night-time nurse was not my favorite person, but we all survived both nights and checked out Sunday morning. We stopped once on the way home in Oskaloosa so Caleb could eat, then we were home. Yay!

We feel so blessed to have another perfectly healthy, happy little one in our family. It was an adventure bringing him into the world, but, given the circumstances, things could not have been any better!